What are the most annoying platitudes?
Sometimes when people are trying to be helpful, all they can think to say is a platitude. Often this has the effect of making people feel worse, not better. Here’s a list of the most annoying platitudes people say.
It’s true that technically some of these are cliches, others are aphorisms, but they’re all used for similar reasons and can be equally irritating. It’s interesting to note how many of them conflict with each other.
- There’s no I in Team (what about healthy teams that appreciate constructive individuality?)
- Good things come to those who wait
- It was meant to be (then why did we bother trying to make it not be?)
- The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results (sometimes you have to do the same exact thing many times to get the result you want – it’s called practice)
- Time heals all wounds (how about losing a limb?)
- Such is life
- Forgive and forget
- Everything happens for a reason (including suffering and early death?)
- People are our most important asset
- It is what it is
- What the mind can conceive, it can achieve
- Winners never quit
- What doesn’t kill me will only make me stronger
- I don’t want a team of champions, I want a champion team. (Note that there is an I in “champion team”)
- Teamwork to make the Dream work
- “C’est la vie”
- Hard work always pays off
- God has a plan for you
- Great minds think alike
- Money can’t buy happiness
- Live each moment like it’s your last (not very pleasant)
- If at first you don’t succeed, try try again (maybe you should try elsewhere)
- Follow your passion
- Follow your bliss (what if mine is cocaine?)
- That’s just my personal opinion
- Let’s not reinvent the wheel
- It’s not rocket science
- It’s all good
- What goes up, goes down
- After the storm the sun will shine
- Don’t assume – it makes an ASS out of U and ME
- Don’t be sad because it’s over, be glad that it happened
- Love means never having to say you’re sorry (Then please don’t love me)
- We are where we are
- What goes around comes around
- What’s done is done
- Waste not want not
- It has to be somewhere (as if this helps you find something that’s lost)
- Nice guys finish last
- Go with the flow
- Only dead fish go with the flow
- No offense, but…
- Rome wasn’t built in a day
- Work smarter, not harder
- There’s no I in team
- Life doesn’t give you things you can’t handle (depends on what life gives you, doesn’t it?)
- You’re as young as you feel
- Age is just a number
- It’s just software
- We’re all in this together
- Everything always works out in the end
- Time heals all wounds
- We’ll all be laughing about this soon
- It’s doesn’t matter if you win or lose, only that you try
- Tomorrow is another day
- It could be worse
- You are what you eat
- It’s neither here nor there
- Think outside the box
- It will all look better in the morning
- Take the lemons and make lemonade
- The best things in life are free
- It wasn’t meant to be
- Better to have loved and lost…
- That’s for me to know and you to find out
- Better late than never
- With all due respect
- The road to hell is paved with good intentions (so I should have bad intentions then? is that how the road to heaven is paved?)
- Gossip is the devil’s radio
- Laugh and the world laughs with you
- People regret the things they didn’t do
- Beauty is only skin deep
- You can’t judge a book by it’s cover
- Work hard, play hard
- Only the good die young
- All’s fair in love and war
- All men are created equal
- There are plenty more fish in the sea
- The more things change, the more they stay the same
- It’s the darkest just before dawn (have you seen a dawn?)
- Fail harder
- Perception is reality (except when your perception is very bad)
- you can be anything that you want to be
- Patience is a virtue
- I’m sorry that’s not what you want to hear
- This will hurt me more than it hurts you (well lets switch places and find out)
- The customer is always right
- If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen (maybe we can make the kitchen better?)
- Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm
- Be careful what you wish for
- With great power comes great responsibility
- Just think about how much worse other people have it
- God never gives us more than we can bear (see death, misery, history of suffering)
What comes to mind? Leave a comment (240+ already have below). Thanks.
Heh.. my wife hate when I say “Such is life”
“Everything happens for a reason”
“People are our most important asset” @jpwaren
“It is what it is.”
“it is what it is”
Has this veneer of mystic wisdom but all it means is, “Your feelings are not relevant to this matter.”
What the mind can conceive, it can achieve.
Winners never quit.
What doesn’t kill me will only make me stronger!
I once had a manager to said “I don’t want a team of champions, I want a champion team”.
(Note that there is an I in “champion team”)
“Teamwork to make the Dream work.”
This is my favorite platitude to mock relentlessly.
@jcopenha – blame the French for your domestic woes…
“C’est la vie”
Hard work always pays off. Money can’t buy happiness.
Live each moment like it’s your last
(not very pleasant)
If at first you don’t succeed, try try again
(maybe you should try elsewhere)
I daresay there are those who don’t mind platitudes. It would be interesting to examine what makes those people different.
“Follow your Passion”.
“It is what it is.”
Annoying as hell. Not even a witty tautology. I mean, come on. As opposed to “it is what it isn’t?”
“That’s just my personal opinion” especially when used to describe political changes that forcibly affect lots of other people.
Let’s not reinvent the wheel.
log->disc->solid wheel->spoked wheel-> spinning wheel or wind mill or water wheel or pulley->ball bearing->journal bearing->computer mouse
A lot of history is driven by the reinvention of the wheel.
It’s not rocket science
I hate it when people say “It’s all good!”.
1. What goes up, goes down
2. After the storm the sun will shine
“Don’t assume – it makes an ASS out of U and ME”
From Payson Hall
Don’t be sad because it’s over, be glad that it happened.
Why I’m annoyed: you’ve disregarded my experience, denied my need to grieve/process the loss, and essentially demanded that I get over it immediately. I guess because sadness is an affront to the speaker?
I’ve always been irritated by the phrase, but since my mom died, its positive thinking uber alles nature feels especially bullying and disrespectful.
And now I’ll follow with a platitude of my own that probably annoys someone else: everything takes the time it takes. I like it because it’s a reminder that some things can’t be forced no matter how skilled/intelligent/important we are, or how much we want them to be different.
Interestingly, that seems to be the theme behind the platitudes several of the previous commenters don’t like: the acknowledgement that there are things we cannot control, which, perhaps, is used by some as an excuse to not attempt achievable, necessary change.
I just went to Facebook and started reading status updates from friends :)
Time to start turning those lemons into lemonade
Success is going from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm (apparently Winston Churchill)
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” – Victor Frankl
“Stay positive till 10, and the rest of the day will take care of itself”
Or, just go to http://www.successories.com/category/motivational+posters/motivational+posters/entire+collection.do?sortby=bestSellers and vomit repeatedly.
Love means never having to say you’re sorry
We are where we are <- usually "are" is up shit creek without a paddle.
“Better the devil you know”
“What goes around comes around”
Generally it doesn’t – evil people rarely get their comeuppance.
We are where we are
“Everything happens for a reason” I hate it for 2 reasons.
1. It shows a ridiculous belief in fate.
2. It doesn’t even make sense! as Everything happens BECAUSE of a reason, not FOR a reason!
What’s done is done…
I hate this one… I didn’t figure how to answer something to this one! :P
“Your the Best of the Best!”
Told to a group of workers being laid off.
It drives me completely bonkers when people say to me: “Well, I live in the world of reality, and I have to deal with **something**” and that **something** is always some person or rule that is utterly detached from REALITY.
“Cheer up, it might never happen!” If I’m not cheery, chances are it probably /has/ happened, and it probably /sucked/, so STFU.
“It takes 43 muscles to frown and only 17 to smile!” Leaving aside the fact that I’m not frowning – my face has just fallen asleep because you’re boring the shit out of me – this is demonstrably wrong: http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2489/does-it-take-fewer-muscles-to-smile-than-it-does-to-frown
“No offence, but [offensive comment].” (Also see “With all due respect.”) Prefixing something offensive with “no offence, but” is as ineffective as saying “No subdural haematoma, but” before breaking a big vase over somebody’s head.
Still, mustn’t grumble. LOL.
Waste not want not.
I mean, yeah, of course… but how?
– “There is no alternative”
“You’ll have someone’s eye out with that.”
“It has to be somewhere!”
[When looking for a missing item]
As though when looking for your missing keys, it is important to rule out the possibility that they might have just dematerialized.
“It’s Not Either Or. It’s Both And.”
This seems to come up as a conflict between idea people (entrepreneurs, marketers, etc) and implementers/producers.
I’m usually the producer within this context and have a limited resource – my time and attention. So, it really is Either/Or. I either Do This or I Do That. There’s no Both in that equation.
“Influence the influencers”
“Nice guys finish last.”
So, we should all aspire to be assholes?
No question. “It is what it is” is the all-time winner.
Any sentence containing the word “leverage”.
I’ve got a few acquaintances that spout these endlessly.
Just heard, “Go with the flow.” Retch.
Double retch” “Only dead fish go with the flow.”
Speaking of, “No offence, but … ” There’s the Southern version, “Bless his heart.” eg: “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen, bless his precious little heart.”
How about:
We don’t have problems, we have challenges.
— which morphs into —
We don’t have challenges, we have opportunities.
Rome wasn’t built in a day.
Another favorite:
Information wants to be free (which is often taken out of context)
“Work smarter, not harder.” Usually means get done what I want done, but in half the time, with half the resources, and for half the compensation than it reasonably takes to accomplish the project.
Adding to the others who mentioned, “It is what it is,” generalize that to any statement for which the opposite doesn’t make any sense anyway.
I’m feeling lazy in my logic vocabulary today, but I think these statements can be called “trivialities” and sometimes “tautologies”.
Not sure what can top “There’s no I in team” (to which I will point out there’s still a “me”).
* “Everything is still up in the air” (this tires after too many repetitions)
* “Is your attitude worth catching?” – If we’re comparing bad attitudes to diseases, it may make sense to clean up the environment so bad attitudes don’t happen in the first place.
* “Life doesn’t give you things you can’t handle” – Demonstrably not true…otherwise social services would have nothing to do.
I love this blog (that’s not an annoying platitude :) )
“You’re as young as you feel” (this one irritates the crap out of me)
“Age is just a number” (yeah, no kidding)
“It is what it is” (has already been mentioned, I know…but, I hate that one too and had to say it again)
Great blog.
All sentences containing “professionalising”. It tells that the team currently
(hit the enter key to soon)amateurs. “Professionalising” is in the same category as “Innovation”.
“It’s just software”
“We’re all in this together”
“Everything always works out in the end”
“Time heals all wounds”
“We’ll all be laughing about this soon”
“It’s doesn’t matter if you win or lose, only that you try”
“Tomorrow is another day”
“It could be worse”
“We always want what we can’t have.” Makes humanity sound irrational and neurotic.
“You are what you eat.”
… yes… and also what you love, what you drink, what you make, what you smell, what you watch etc.. Our poor nutrition seems to carry all the blame all of a sudden :))
It’s all good.
“It’s neither here nor there.” So, where is it?
Really, anything from Star Wars.
+1 Star Wars
“It’s not churn, it is a learning experience”.
“It’s just the churn” (a phrase often to used to placate frustrasted workers dealing with re-work and tedious work.
Let’s think outside the box
(who put us in the box?)
It will all look better in the morning
(really? you’re just saying that because you won’t be here in the morning)
Take the lemons and make lemonade
(truly annoying, HOW? how do we make lemonade? easy to say and damn hard to do)
the best things in life are free
It could be worse. (especially hating this one today!)
Good thread!
Coming to it a bit late though, so many of my pet hates are already listed (especially ‘work smarter not harder’ and ‘everything happens for a reason’!).
A couple I didn’t spot already:
o It wasn’t meant to be
o Better to have loved and lost…
Interesting how many platitudes have an opposite:
o While ‘Good things come to those who wait’… ‘he who hesitates is lost’ and ‘the early bird catches the worm’. Then again, ‘marry in haste and repent at leisure’, ‘fools rush in’ and ‘look before you leap’.
o ‘Many hands make light work’, but ‘too many cooks spoil the broth’…
(I should admit, I don’t mind ‘it is what it is’ (I use it to keep things in perspective & stop myself jumping to conclusions about something!))
“You will get your reward in heaven.”… to which I always ask “Why can’t I at least live off the interest today?”
“That’s for me to know and you to find out”
(better alternative: “That’s for me to know and you not to know”)
“You don’t have to mad to work here – but it helps”
“Better late than never”
– Why have i hung myself
– I’ve got a trumpet stuck up my arse again
– Thanks.. bye!
That’s my list
with all due respect…
These are just teething issues
Set up for success
“It is what it is”
THIS.
Dont’ EVER say this.
EVER.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Gossip is the devil’s radio.
“assume” makes an “ass” of “u” and “me” (Given the vital importance of assumptions to any discussion of the future, I particularly hate that one).
I’ll second SDiMeglio — “work smarter, not harder.”
Completely thoughtless, usually impractical, and entirely lacking in substance.
The printing press as opposed to calligraphing. Email as opposed to sending letters through the postal system. Texting as opposed to calling cards. Washing machines as opposed to getting on your knees with a washboard and bucket. I can’t think of anything mankind hasn’t invented to make their working life not as needlessly exhausting. This platitude is pretty much hated by those who haven’t thought of a better way.
The two I hate in an office environment are “we need to work smarter, not harder” and “we have to become lean and mean.”
“The audience is finding it.” Usually means our content/product is a dismal failure, our marketing is either awful or non-existent and we’ll probably run out of money before anyone besides the founder’s mother takes notice.
“Guys, this is a real game-changer.” Usually means we are about to commence work on a derivative, me-too piece of garbage, by the grace of god just a hair south of an IP lawsuit, which has more in common with a bowl of lukewarm oatmeal than an original idea.
“It happens”.
Really? What if “it” never happened? Would we still talk about “it”? How would we know what “it” is? And if “it” merely happening is the explanation for the entirety of the “it” phenomenon,then isn’t “it” so self obvious that commenting on “it” is an expression of no intellectual cognitive value? Like saying “the sun is” or “water exists”.
When my baseball coaches used to say “there is no ‘I’ in team!” I would respond: “Yes, but there is in ‘win” and that is why I am here. Yes, I will run those laps, again…”.
“Save the Planet!!!!!”